Two Yom Kippur Jokes

Hope everyone had a great and rewarding Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. I have for you two Yom Kippur jokes, the first courtesy of Protocols. A big Red Sox fan comes running to his rabbi before Yom Kippur. "Rabbi, I have a dillema. The Sox are playing their big game on Yom Kippur. What do I do?" The rabbi replies, "Well, what do you think they invented VCRs for?" And the person replies, "Rabbi, that's a great idea! But... I didn't know Yom Kippur services were on cable?!" The second joke I heard from my rabbi a long time ago. One time an ignorant country bumpkin comes to shul on Yom Kippur and sees everyone bending over putting their tallis (prayer shawl) over their heads (standard part of the Yom Kippur service). He asks someone, "Why is everyone doing this?" The guy, being a big joker, says to the guy, "Well, when we bend over and cover ourselves with the talis, we like to grab a quick snack." The next year, the bumpkin was prepared and brought along a small bag containing a chicken drumstick. When the congragation bent over covering themselves with their talleisim, he did likewise, and started eating his chicken. Everyone had already come up from bending over and still noticed that one guy was still bowing down with his tallis over his head. The rabbi comes over to inquire, thinking the person is some sort of saint. The person looks up and rather impatiently replies, "Well, rabbi, some people are fast eaters and some people are slow eaters!"