//Comment This Out

Drinking From the Manischewitz Kool-Aid

2008-02-05T22:17:00.000-05:00

Just saw an interesting episode of House tonight.

A Chasidic woman, who was a recent Ba'alas Teshuva, is admitted to the hospital where House works after collapsing at her wedding. (She fell out of her chair during the dance at the wedding.) The episode had the typical plot we've come to expect from the show (mystery illness, has a few theories that don't pan out, patient starts collapsing at key moments, they think she's going to die, then House figures it out in the end, and all is OK).

It could be the first time on a network TV show where the first parts of Eishes Chayil were actually sung in the "traditional" tune.

There and Back Again

2008-01-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

Well, I am now two days back from a trip down to New Jersey to visit my wife's family and friends.

And it was quite interesting, considering I had to drive the entire way with 5 kids in the back.

We started driving down last December 23rd. I had to pick up the rental car from a downtown location (don't ask), drive it all the way home (that took about 30 minutes) and pack everything up.

Since our two oldest kids sit in "booster car seats" which require them to be buckled up every time someone sits in it, it presented a quite a challenge since the belt buckle was jammed in between the two seats. Every time (and this was quite often since we stopped many times) I had to go from the back of the minivan, reach over, stick my hand down in between the seats, maneuver my other hand with the belt, and make sure that it clicked into place.

During our trip down, it rained almost the entire time, alternating between light rain, heavy rain, and torrential downpour (that would be in northern Pennsylvania). It gets to be quite unnerving seeing the windshield wipers move back and forth before your eyes for 10 hours straight.

I do have to say that the Pennsylvania Welcome Center for tourists on Route 15 in Tioga was one of the nicest rest stops I have ever seen. Government of Ontario, take note next time you feel like spending taxpayers money.

Anyways, on our way down it was getting late, my daughter was upset, and I got on the I-80 without noticing that I went West instead of East. At the next rest stop, I decided to look at its map and noticed that its "You are here" pin was not where I expected it to be. I had gone 22 miles off course! I am generally good with maps and directions so it hurt my pride a bit to make that mistake. Fortunately, there was an exit right after so I was able to do a quick turn around.

For more details, see my wife's post.

To be continued...

iPhone in Canada?

2007-11-04T17:48:00.001-05:00

Last Friday, on the bus, I saw my first iPhone in person, which was quite interesting since officially speaking, we do not have the iPhone yet in Canada. It is rumoured to be introduced around Jan. - Feb. 2008 on the Rogers network.

The person made an actual phone local call. My guess is that he had an unlocked iPhone (purchased from eBay), possibly using AppSnapp.

One of the drawbacks I can see off the bat is that since the screen is a nice high resolution touch screen, I could clearly see the phone number and name of the person he was calling. I could see that as a potential security risk.

Kosher Subway in Toronto with Wal-Mart?

2007-10-14T11:14:00.000-04:00

Construction of a massive Wal-Mart (are there any Wal-Marts which are not massive?) is nearing completion in Thornhill, north of Toronto. This new Wal-Mart is slightly more stylish than others (i.e. instead of the plain "boxy" look, they have "dressed it up" a bit) and is said to include a kosher grocery section.

I was talking to my friend this past Shabbos and he said that the plaza that is in development around it is rumoured to include a kosher Subway. Although there are now kosher Subways in other cities, as of yet, I'm not sure if this is true or not.

The Top n Excuses Given By Software Developers

2007-08-13T13:56:00.000-04:00

The following is a list of top excuses given by software developers, in no particular order. If I think of more, I will add it to the list. #1 - "It works on my machine." #2 - "I can't repoduce the problem." #3- "You don't have the latest [version/service pack/build]." #4- "That was not in the specs." (or worse, "There are no specs!") #5- "The bug exists in 3rd party code." (and worse, "...and its closed source.")

My Wife Has Gone Batty

2007-06-13T19:17:00.000-04:00

She has had a close encounter with a brown blur. Everyone's OK. See her post for details.

Ark Builders

2007-05-17T12:33:00.000-04:00

Considering that Parshas Noach (Torah portion of Noah) was my bar mitzvah parsha, I found the following three cases of modern ark building quite amusing. It seems that a Dutch man built a life size replica of Noah's ark, animals included (or at least life size models). In other news, Greenpeace activists built a replica of the ark on Mount Arrarat to protest global warming. Noah was an enviromental activist? Who knew? And a new upcoming movie called Evan Almighty starring Steve Carell (a followup to Jim Carrey's Bruce Almighty), has Morgan Freeman telling him to become a mordern day Noah and build an ark.

Flower Power

2007-02-15T12:32:00.000-05:00

The London Telegraph reports that the latest "cause" for environmentalists in Britain is flowers, many brought in for Valentine's day. Apparently, many of the flowers are imported from far away (e.g. Africa) by plane. Planes, like cars, give off emissions. Thus, buying flowers, or at least ones not locally grown, allegedly contributes to global warming. That is absolutely ridiculous. Do they not realize that in this context, flowers are consumer goods just like anything else? Do they not realize that all sorts of goods are imported every single day, many of them by plane? If they take that logic to its extreme then no consumer goods at all should be imported since it is concievable that everything can be produced locally. Imagine what that would do to the economy, not just for Britain, but for all countries exporting to Britain.

No Statistics

2007-02-08T12:41:00.000-05:00

After a few winter months of warmer than normal temperatures and hardly any snow, the last few weeks (especially the last one) have erased all memories of that time. I now realize that we have three kinds of winter temperatures here in Toronto. Cold, damn cold, and... Winnipeg.

The Cat Has Pearly Teeth

2007-01-23T12:37:00.000-05:00

This morning, my daughter was telling me about how she doesn't like dogs but she does like cats. I asked her, "Why don't you like dogs?" She told me its because they have teeth. So I told her, "But cats have teeth too. How else would they eat food?" So, she told me that cats can have a drink instead!

Neither Thick Nor Thin

2006-12-27T12:59:00.000-05:00

Joel Spolsky of Joel on Software finds a certain blog post so obsure, he decides to write a "Rashi" and "Tosfos" commentary to it that took three hours to complete. Somehow, I don't see an Artscroll version forthcoming.

String Around Toronto

2006-12-17T22:56:00.000-05:00

An interesting article about Toronto's eruv has been published by the Globe and Mail, though, for reasons I can't fathom, in the Arts section (on their website only, paper edition has it in the Globe Toronto section). For the record, the cover picture shows the Highway 401 overpass over Bathurst St. (south side) which is within the eruv domain. One little odd nit; when first mentioning the rabbis it quotes the article uses "Rabbi" as the prefix but then reverts to "Mr." in subsequent quotes. Via Eruv Online.

Man, Oh, Mano-schewitz

2006-12-13T12:54:00.000-05:00

Manischewitz (or is that Manischwoo-witz?), the venerable Jewish food company, is updating their image. The money quote? "It's not your bubbe's matzo and gefilte fish anymore." I remember a while ago they tried coming out with a line of "premium" Pesach products with the label of "Passover Gold". I figured at the time that it was called that in reference to the high prices one had to pay for a product that was the exact same as their other products. Via Elisheva Blogs.

Suing for Defamation

2006-11-22T12:54:00.000-05:00

A Jewish professor at York University, David Noble, is suing the universary and some Jewish groups for defamation, claiming that they suggested he is anti semetic. This is the same person who, last year, decided to hold classes on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, even though the universary does not have classes.

New and Improved

2006-10-29T16:22:00.000-05:00

My shul bulletin recently had the following notice: New and Improved Shalosh Seudos Menu
...To bring us in line with all other shuls across the GTA, and to provide for this signifigantly improved menu, the cost for sponsoring will now be $180... What does this mean "new and improved"? That the chips and cake will not be stale anymore? That they will offer Coca-Cola instead of RC Cola? That they will have regular herring along with shmaltz herring? (Disclaimer: I can't stand any herring.) And what does it mean by "bring in line with all other shuls"? Not sure if they noticed, but most other shuls also have a dismal Shalosh Seudos (or as one purist informed me once, "Its Seudas Shlishis!"). Well, the new menu will be introduced in two weeks so I guess I'll see if it really is worth it.

Who? Achashvairosh.

2006-10-18T13:07:00.000-04:00

A new movie entitled One Night With The King based on the Book of Esther was recently released in US theatres on October 13th. (Doesn't seem to be available in Canada.) Unfortunately for the movie, it seems to only have a "20% Fresh" (as of this writing) rating on Rotten Tomatoes. via The Life-Of-Rubin.

Canada In Israel

2006-09-30T21:39:00.000-04:00

The other day, I was thinking about different Canadians and Canadian things one may find in Israel. Here is a partial list that I could think of: - The famous Canadian-Israeli architect, Moshe Safdie who designed the new Jewish Quarter of the Old City of Jerusalem and helped plan the city of Modi'in. He was originally famous for Habitat in Montreal during the 1960s. - The Azrieli Center, a complex of three office towers in Tel Aviv, one shaped like a square, one like a triangle, and one like a circle. It was built by developer David Azrieli, another Canadian Israeli. Although I think it is a coincidence, the circle/square/triangle combo also forms the logo of CTV. - The Aish HaTorah Center, overlooking the Kotel, was funded by the family of Leslie Dan, a well known Canadian businessman who started Novopharm, one of Canada's largest generic pharmaceutical companies. He sold the company to Teva, Israel's largest pharmaceutical company. - I have read that Israel has a real (as in real ice) hockey rink, though I can't recall where. That rink was predictably built with funds donated by Canadians. - Israel's largest pharmacy chain, SuperPharm, is the Israeli branch of Canada's largest pharmacy chain, Shopper's Drug Mart. Shopper's Drug Mart started out as a single store here in Toronto and was called that due to its location in the "Shopper's Plaza" strip mall. My dad, incidentally, once worked in that original store. - Joseph Tannenbaum, the late well known Canadian philanthropist and patron/founder of my shul, the BAYT, was also was very generous with Yeshivos and institutions in Israel and his name can be found on buildings throughout Jerusalem.

State Of Orthodoxy In Toronto - Part II

2006-08-30T12:35:00.000-04:00

Part II of Is Orthodoxy becoming too religiously right-wing? is now posted online by the Canadian Jewish News. Hmmm... Interviews with two York U professors. Do I see a trend here?

State of Orthodoxy in Toronto

2006-08-23T12:57:00.000-04:00

The Canadian Jewish News has a new article titled: Is Toronto’s Orthodox community becoming too religiously right-wing? It includes discussions regarding the Slifkin affair and the adoption of various chumros (stringencies) over the years.

Vey To The Survey

2006-08-01T13:07:00.000-04:00

Why do people still believe that we should seriously consider online polls? As the war in Lebanon heats up, I have been getting some emails telling me to vote in this online poll and that online poll in favour of Israel because after all "it is important to let the world know" and that my voting "can make a difference". I even got an email (actually two copies from different people) asking me to phone "Dubya" at the White House (gave the phone number, not toll free) to let him know about how we appreciate his support of Israel. And now there is even a desktop widget that, among other things, alerts people to online polls about Israel. Now, I, of course, support Israel. However, what people do not seem to realize is that online polls, even when conducted by major outlets such as CNN, are pointless. They are pointless for two reasons: - They are statistically meaningless. Any statistisian will tell you that to get a real statistic they have to take a random sampling of the general population. They can never solicit people to volunteer information on their own. - Online polls can be easily doctored. In fact, that is essentially why I am getting the email in the first place. To turn the tide in favour of Israel. Media companies who want to report what people's opinion really is hire independent reputable survey companies and then report their findings. So, I think I'll express my support for Israel, but not in this way. Update: Classmate Wearing Yarmulka has the same peeve.

Haifa Was Not Hit By Rocket?

2006-07-14T12:41:00.000-04:00

This morning, on the way to work, I was reading a news report from the Associated Press in the local paper when I saw some odd reporting.

Hezbollah fired more than 100 rockets into Israel, which said that one also struck the port city of Haifa.

"Which said"? Um, I seem to recall seeing the news last night and where they actually showed the aftermath of the rocket strike on Haifa. Does Associated Press have no reporters in Israel who can check to see if it struck Haifa or not? Then I saw this paragraph.

Hezbollah’s deputy leader Sheikh Naim Kassem denied that the group had fired on Haifa, telling Al-Jazeera by telephone that the group would do so if Beirut or its southern suburbs were attacked.

So now its just Israel's word against Hezbollah's? I can just imagine the dialogue.

Israel: "Your rocket hit Haifa".

Hezbollah: "No, we didn't fire on Haifa. But if you hit Beirut we will fire on Haifa".

Israel: "So, you didn't fire one at Haifa?"

Hezbollah: "Yup."

Israel: "So where did that rocket come from? And why is that rocket any different from the other 100 ones you fired on us?"

Hezbollah: "Umm... Umm..."

90 Minutes and 30 Years

2006-07-03T13:36:00.000-04:00

Today is the 30th anniversary of the famous Entebbe hostage rescue. The Jerusalem Post has a look back at the incident. I also remembering skimming through one of the books on the subject at my parent's place: 90 Minutes at Entebbe written by William Stevenson (also the author of A Man Called Intrepid). Interesting look at the issue. He also included some transcripts from the UN sessions in the aftermath the operation. Heh. Some things never change, do they? From Media Backspin.

Train Coffee Breaks

2006-06-09T12:47:00.000-04:00

The other day, when I was taking my five year old son to school, we saw a stopped train on the railway overpass. Wanting to see what he would say, I asked him why the train was stopped. He answered that the driver was taking a coffee break. A few days later I found out my wife told him that.

It Burns, It Burns

2006-05-15T13:14:00.000-04:00

Heard this joke many years ago when attending a Lag B'Omer bonfire celebration. A Chasid and a Misnagid were standing in front of a Lag B'Omer bonfire. The Chasid looked at the fire and exclaimed, "This fire represents the Ohr shel Torah (the light of the Torah)!" The Misnagid looked at him and replied, "You know what gehennom (hell) looks like?"

It's a Girl

2006-05-07T01:52:00.000-04:00

Well, I went to work last Thursday, expecting it to be a normal Thursday day at work, like any other. My wife had gone to her OB for an appointment in anticipation of her upcoming due date, pegged at May 19th. While she was there in the office, her water broke. The doctor confirmed it was her water that had broken and told her that she should go to the hospital right away, which was two blocks away. Which was very convinient... for her. I, on the other hand, left work early, went all the way home, picked up her stuff, a went to the hospital to meet her. (That took about two hours in total.) Our doula (labour coach) was currently vacationing in Washago on the banks of Lake Couchiching, with the expectation that nobody was going to be going into labour. She aborted her stay and drove in (also about two hours or so). The baby finally arrived at 10:48 pm EDT on Thursday, May 4th. After she was born, they discovered that there was a bit of fluid in her lungs which caused her to "grunt". It did not clear up so they put her in the ICU for observation. Her colour and other aspects were normal and we werre told this was fairly common. After a day, her oxygen levels were put at "normal air" (i.e. 21% Oxygen) and now she is expected to arrive home this coming Monday. On Shabbos, we gave her a name of Naomi Shoshanna. My wife has her own post about the birth.

Satmar and Moshiach

2006-04-28T12:45:00.000-04:00

I was perusing this article about the inevitable Satmar feud resulting from the death of the Satmar rebbe and saw this quote.

A supporter of Aaron’s, Isac Weinberger, claimed Wednesday that meetings would be taking place in Israel, England and upstate Monsey at which Aaron would be declared “the rebbe of Satmar until the Messiah comes.”

Well, if the Messiah turns out to be the Lubavitcher rebbe, then maybe not. Sorry, couldn't resist. :-)

Passover Foods That Just Don't Work

2006-04-16T14:53:00.000-04:00

My wife recently purchased for Passover two foods that are desgined to simulate chametz foods but just don't quite make it: Kosher for Passover frozen pizza and macaroni and cheese. Needless to say, I let my wife and kids be the guinea pigs for those and needless to say, they didn't go over very well (or down, for that matter). As my friend put it, "You can't go for eight days without a pizza?"

Unusual Shaloch Manos

2006-03-14T13:04:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking about some of the unusual shalach manos that I have received, seen, or heard about over the years. (While on the subject, I think it is really supposed to be mishloach manos but I prefer the former.) One year, a long time ago, one congregant sent my rabbi an entire whole cooked turkey with all the trimmings. I wonder if he was trying to say something with that or is it one of those times when a "turkey is just a turkey". When I was in yeshiva in Israel over a decade ago, one guy got a hold of a banana bunch that was still attached to the end of the banana branch. He then took a bottle of wine, tied it to the end of the branch via a metal wire, and then carried it over his shoulder and delivered it to his rebbe. I also have a friend who likes to do theme baskets. Some themes he has done: cereal (delivered in a cereal box), coffee (delivered in a coffee pot), and "mouse trap". This last one came with a plastic rat and "rat droppings" in the form of chocolate chips. He himself dressed up as a mouse with his wife as the exterminator.

World's Largest Hamantashen

2006-03-14T12:38:00.000-05:00

Angel's Bakery in Jerusalem has baked what is now the world's largest hamantashen, which was made from "200 kg of flour, 400 eggs, 20 litres of water, 40 kg of sugar and other ingredients which combined to make the Hamantashen weigh 570 Kg" (that's 1012 pounds). There was a picture of it in today's paper but I can't seem to find any pictures of it online. Imagine getting that in your shalach manos.

Trivia Night

2006-03-05T20:26:00.000-05:00

Last night, my wife and I went to our shul for an adults only, young couples gathering and Trivia Night. The food was actually quite good in which they included wine and cheese (and it was the good stuff too). Each table formed their own team in order to compete at trivia. We also had to pick a name so we appropriately chose the name "Exhausted Parents". In the first case, we had to fill out a "mensa quiz" in which they had questions such as: 24 H in a D = 24 Hours in a Day or 8 T on an O = 8 tentacles on an Octopus We also had multiple choice trivia tests, a pictionary round (in which I had to draw a picture of the word "black"), and a "cut this doughnut using only four cuts and see how many pieces you can make" round. In the end, we tied for 2nd and 3rd place and got movie passes as a prize. Also interestingly, every couple at our table owned a Motorola V551 cell phone.

The Story Teller

2006-02-26T18:03:00.000-05:00

This past Shabbos, our shul hosted Rabbi Hanoch Teller. I heard him speak at shalosh seudos in which he tried to cram in many stories plus a d'var torah in the time alloted. I'd thought I share one humorous story. A woman once decided that she needed to start a diet. Seeing that most people say that they will start a diet "tomorrow", she instead resolved that she was going start right here, right now. She got into her car and was driving down the road and passed by the bakery. In the window, she spotted a large chocolate cake. Immediately, her resolve began to weaken considerably. But she had just made a commitment. So, she said to herself that if G-d sent her a sign then it was meant for her to eat that chocolate cake. The sign would be that if she found a parking spot right in front of the bakery then it was meant to be. Sure enough, G-d sent her a sign and she found a parking spot... after the 14th time circling the block!

Its a Borse, Of Course

2006-01-06T12:56:00.000-05:00

The Forward weighs in on the Jack Abramoff case with a very weighty and important issue: Lobbyist’s Black Hat Is a Borsalino From Brooklyn

Maturity, Coloured Glasses, and Blinders

2006-01-03T21:52:00.000-05:00

The following article by Guidy Mamann, "Time to take off 9/11-coloured glasses", reminded me of something that happened to me when I was young. When I was in Grade 8, my friends and I were basically divided into two camps. One group was basically planning on going to one yeshiva (Jewish high school) for the following year while the other was planning on going to another. Of course, there were some overlaps and undecideds. When the time came, each yeshiva gave a preliminary entrance exam to those who were interested. Some people, including a friend of mine, wanted to keep their options open and took exams at both. I, however, was not planning on attending one of them so I didn't bother taking the exam. When I told my friend that I was not planning on taking the exam, he told me something to the effect, "Oh, you are just doing whatever your parents tell you to do! Why don't you stand up for yourself?" I didn't answer him, but to my 13 year old mind it was a little perplexing. Yes, I was following what my parents wanted. But at the same time, it was what I wanted. I had never seriously entertained going to the other yeshiva nor did I want to. I happened to be in perfect agreement with my parents and it had nothing to do with them "telling me what to do". In other words, as everyone who was once a teen knows, maturity is not simply being independant and doing everything the opposite of what their parents want. It is the ability of making one's own mature (and hopefully correct) decisions which in many cases, may be the same as one's parents. The reason I bring this up is because the sense I get from the article (and other sources as well) is that there is a perception that Canada is the "child" to the USA, the "parent". As Mr. Mamann writes:

Unfortunately, since Sept. 11, 2001, our federal government has acted as if we were “guilty as charged.” To appease our American friends, we have adopted every idiotic airline security measure asked of us...

In other words, we are the "child" who is doing what our "parent" is telling us to do regarding post 9-11 security. But like my friend along time ago, he doesn't understand. Canada is not doing "America's bidding". Canada can and does make its own independant decisions. As 9-11 made abundantly clear, the security measures that were in place before were inadequate. As Mr. Mamann himself says:

The fact is that the 9/11 hijackers were admitted to the U.S. by U.S. border officials. Not by ours. While sympathy is due, we bear absolutely no culpability for these events.

If that is true, then security needed to be upgraded and it has been upgraded. What that also means is that not only does it make sense for the Americans to do so, it also makes sense for Canada to do so. Because while the 9-11 hijackers did not come from Canada into the US, there is nothing to make us believe that terrorists and their supporters would not try to do so at all in the future. That being the case, I think someone else needs to take off their blinders and realize that Canada does not just simply bow to the wishes of the US but that, believe it or not, the Americans may actually be right. Mr. Mamann followed this same logic last year when I commented about his article on the Jeremy Hinzman case. His belief there as to why no politician would make any statement of public policy on US soldier "refugee" claimants was simply due to them not wanted to "anger our friends to the south" and in failing to do so have not made "public policy that defines who we are as a people".

Finally Saw Ushpizin

2005-12-21T10:53:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday, my wife and I went to the Promenade Rainbow Cinemas and saw Ushpizin. I had thought that since it was already in its third week in Toronto that the theatre would be empty. However, the place was packed and sold out (albeit, it was a tiny theatre with not much room to begin with). The movie was pretty good and quite interesting. I just have a few thoughts on it.

Most of the movie appears to have been filmed in one cul-de-sac in Mea Shearim. Very little of the rest of Jerusalem and of Mea Shearim itself was shown. It would have been nicer had they done that, even using stock footage for few second clips, as it would have given the film a better texture.
Similarly, although the movie is about Breslover Chasidim, it gives the impression that Breslovers are the only Chasidim that live there.
It seemed to me that there was almost as much smoking as there was dialogue. Every major character in this movie chain smokes, except on Yom Tov itself. The couple sitting in front of us muttered something as one of the characters lit yet another cigarette.

This last part reminds me of something of when I was in Israel. There is a scene where as soon as they finish Havdala they light up. When I was in Israel, I was over at someone's house. In a religious paper, a cigarette company advertised their product by showing a havdala candle, wine, spices, and a pack of cigarettes with the heading Shavuah Tov. The implication was that now that Shabbos was over, now people can resume smoking. (My Israeli host, a non-smoker, was very upset at the ad.)

Here We Go Again

2005-11-29T20:09:00.000-05:00

The prime minister of Canada has officially called the elections for January 23^rd after a no confidence motion by all the opposition parties. The parties are the same. The leaders are the same. The scandals are the same. Its the tycoon vs. the smiler vs. the mustache vs. the bloque-head.

Synagogue Screening of Ushpizin Almost Violates Intellectual Property Rights

2005-11-27T11:18:00.000-05:00

The Chabad Center of Passaic County recently featured a screening of the film Ushpizin using a legitimate DVD purchased in Brooklyn. The only problem? They did not receive permission from the North American distributors of the movie, Picturehouse. Picturehouse then threatened legal action. Fortunately, that matter was settled with a percentage of the ticket sales going to Picturehouse.

Ushpizin in Toronto Update

2005-11-20T17:05:00.000-05:00

The is a full page advertisement in a locally distributed magazine called The Jewish Magazine that confirms that Ushpizin will start playing at the Bayview Village Cinemas (at Bayview and Sheppard) starting Friday, December 2nd.

Ushpizin in Toronto

2005-11-17T12:33:00.000-05:00

My friend Jeremy informs me that the movie Ushpizin will be coming to Toronto in December, to be shown at the Bayview Village cinemas. More updates will be forthcoming when I find out more information, such as the exact date.

Got the Skinny on the Lulav

2005-10-15T22:14:00.000-04:00

I went lulav and esrog shopping tonight and picked up a set for myself and my father. This year the esrogim were very nice, lots of bright yellows, nice and bumpy, unlike last year's mellow yellows. However, the lulavim were, how shall we say, less than optimal. They were very short and skinny and the selection was not good. Damn those Egyptians.

A Match Made In... We're Not Exactly Sure Where

2005-10-09T12:50:00.000-04:00

What would happen if you went out on a shidduch date only to find out you were going out with a bearded man in drag? Find out by watching this mildly amusing Shidduch Music Video. He took "her" out to Dougie's? How typical.

The Ushpizin Are Coming

2005-10-01T22:03:00.000-04:00

Ushpizin, billed as the first movie made by and starring Orthodox Jews, will be making its North American debut on October 19th in New York and Los Angeles and in other cities thereafter. There will also be special screenings in the Boro Park and Flatbush neighbourhoods of Brooklyn starting on the 20th. Unfortunately, it will not be screened here in Toronto nor any other Canadian city. They now have a brand new website up and running (yes, it actually includes desktops for download). Click on "Local Release Dates" to find the complete listing of cities where the movie will be showing. Alternatively, it can also be purchased on DVD, assuming you are able to view movies in the PAL (European) standard.

Friday The Rabbi Found the Shul Haunted

2005-09-06T13:12:00.000-04:00

In Pennsylvania, a Lubavitcher rabbi has plans to turn a historic inn into a shul and a Jewish community centre. However, there are rumours that the place is haunted and the last owner of the place was murdered. Via Chaptzem.

Second Year Anniversary

2005-08-28T10:01:00.000-04:00

It is now exactly two years since I started this blog. Last year, I did a "look back" over the previous year. So, continuing that tradition, I will look back over the past year. Personal

My eldest son turned four, my eldest daughter turned three (on her way to school... finally), my youngest son turned one, and my youngest daughter was born last January.
My wife became a Canadian, now she is officially a dual.

Canada

Tories threaten to topple government but Belinda crosses the aisle, and the Liberals remain in power for the foreseeable future.
After last year's abnormally cool summer, Toronto (and much of the rest of the country) suffers from an abnormally hot summer with record breaking temperatures. And to think I bike in this weather.
Toronto suffers from a freak rain and hailstorm causing massive flooding citywide. And to think I walked in this weather.

The Rest of the World

Iraq. Staying the course. I said it last year. I'm saying it again.
The Americans elect George "Double You" Bush for the second time over John "Who?" Kerry who discovered that serving in a war for four months some 30 years ago and constantly mentioning that fact to the point that it becomes a running joke even with his own constituents does not guarentee the presidency. Kerry also discovered that being named after a certain type of open-back, sandal-like footwear didn't help much either.
Arafat. Dead.
Osama. Alive (supposedly).
Sharon actually goes ahead with his plan and officially makes the Gaza 100% Jew free. Will his plan help? I'm not optimistic.

Toronto Flood Pictures

2005-08-23T13:52:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures from the Great Toronto Flood of August 19, 2005 (pictures courtesy DG).

Water, Water, Everywhere...

2005-08-21T00:09:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, Toronto and much of southern Ontario was hit with a freak rain and hailstorm that left the city with severe flooding in many areas. I was at work when the storm first hit. The rain was so thick we could barely see across the street. When the hail started to fall, it made a lot of noise hitting our steel and glass office building to the point where I could barely hear the client who I was talking to on the phone. I left work promptly at five with the idea that I would "make early Shabbos" with not having a clue as to what the traffic situation was really like. At this point we were getting light rain in our area. I walked to the bus stop and shortly thereafter, it started coming down hard again. It appeared in the distance that the police had blocked off the road and the traffic was at a standstill. For a half an hour I waited in vain for a bus that I didn't think was likely to show up anyways until the rain finally stopped and the sun came out. I then started to walk home. Along the way I noticed the flooding. Several parking lots and parts of Steeles Ave. were flooded. When I passed Leslie, I noticed in the distance several TTC buses idling. There is a place where the street dips down and goes underneath a bridge. That area was completely flooded and cut off the street entirely. Some cars were stalled and half submerged under water. One of the TTC drivers told me that she had been stuck there since 3:45, and it was already 6:30. Altogether, it took me about one hour and 45 minutes to walk home from the bus stop. My legs are still sore.

So I Married a Canadian...

2005-08-06T23:10:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, my wife pledged allegiance to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, Queen of Canada, and all of her heirs and successors, and in doing so, became a Canadian citizen along with over 80 people from 27 different countries. One of the things I learned from the process is that recipients of the Order of Canada have the legal power to confer citzenship. What that means is that people like the late Ernie Coombs or the Air Farce troupe can officiate. In this case, we had a historical geographer. At the end of the ceremony, we sang "Oh, Canada", but cut out the last part of "G-d keep our land, glorious and free" to switch to the French version of the anthem, which nobody in the room understood.

Yellow Light District

2005-07-19T12:57:00.000-04:00

Having problems getting a minyan? This enterprising shul in Kansas City has a novel solution. Via Bloghead.

The True North, Strong and Hot

2005-07-14T18:51:00.000-04:00

Usually, when people complain about Canada, they compalin about how cold it is. The way things are going, people will start complaining that it is too hot. Six days and counting of 30°C+ weather. And, I've been riding my bike to work in this weather (about 12-13 km one way). Yes, I'm still in one piece.

More on the Guests

2005-06-22T20:10:00.000-04:00

Ushpizin, which I blogged about last August, is billed as the world's first movie produced by and starring Orthodox Jews. The movie now has its own official website, which includes movie clips. However, there is still no sign when it is coming out on DVD. Via The Pig of Death.

Where is Mount Sinai?

2005-06-16T12:37:00.000-04:00

Generally speaking, the location of Mount Sinai today is generally accepted to be in the Sinai desert, which is now part of Egypt. However, we had a guest over for Shavuos who told us that he saw a documentary which claimed that Mount Sinai is really in present day Saudi Arabia. As an aside, the stones from the "Sinai desert" Mount Sinai have shapes in them which look like a bush. This is reminiscent of the "burning bush" which was on Mount Sinai (and Sinai is related to the word "Sneh" for "Bush").

Belinda Switches Sides

2005-05-18T12:40:00.000-04:00

Belinda Stronach, former CEO of Magna, whose inital foray into politics last year was to run for the leadership of the Conservative party, has now switched over to the Liberal party in a surprising upset. The Conservatives were planning on voting against the budget later this week in order to force new elections. Now that Belinda has switched sides, it makes it more difficult for the Tories. What is also interesting is that Belinda was also dating Peter Mackay, deputy leader of the party. Well, I guess she has her baggage now.

Forty Two

2005-05-09T12:43:00.000-04:00

Last night, my wife and I celebrated Mother's Day by leaving the kids with my mom and went out to see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It was pretty good. It is not every day when you see a movie in which two nuclear missiles turn into a whale and pot of petunias and aliens torture their captives by reading them poetry.

A while back, someone asked Douglas Adams if the number 42 (the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything) meant anything or not. He replied that he just picked the number at random and did not mean anything.

However, even though 42 does not mean anything to him, however, the number does have some significance in Judaism. For example, the number of the cities of the Leviim (Levites) that were not designated as Ir Miklat (Cities of Refuge for people who killed accidentally) was 42. The prayer Ana BeKoach which is said before the start of Shabbos (the Sabbath) contains 42 words. Also, the prayer Ata Chonantanu which is said at the close of Shabbos, also contains 42 words.

To borrow a line from the movie: "Impossible? No, not impossible, just improbable."

Finger On The Button

2005-05-04T12:42:00.000-04:00

Last night, I watched an episode of Doctor Who on CBC. In this episode, the British Prime Minister, an alien in disguise (hey, its sci-fi), asked the UN Security Council for the access codes to nuclear weapons which only they had the authority to grant permission. The UN Security Council having access to nuclear weapons? Now that's scary.

Main Chain

2005-05-02T21:26:00.000-04:00

On the last day of Pesach, at Neilas HaChag, they served Mayim Chaim Old Fashioned Seltzer. Old Fashioned? I couldn't see what was particularly old fashioned about it. Then, at the bottom in tiny print, they had a blurb where they said something like (I'm paraphrasing here): "When you serve Mayim Chaim seltzer at your table you are making a statement. You are demonstrating to everyone that you won't settle for less." Then, "Do not be fooled by imitations that sound like our name. Drink Mayim Chaim, the original and the best." (An obvious reference to Be'er Mayim another commonly available Passover brand.) For crying out loud... its carbonated water!

A PDF Haggadah?

2005-04-22T12:50:00.000-04:00

I've done many net searches for a traditional, Hebrew Haggadah in PDF format but I can't seem to find one. I'm just looking for one that has the complete text. It seems that all of the ones out there are either not traditional or are not complete.

No Reward

2005-04-14T13:59:00.000-04:00

In this article on Joel on Software, Joel Spolsky quotes Alfie Kohn from the Harvard Business Review.

... at least two dozen studies over the last three decades have conclusively shown that people who expect to receive a reward for completing a task or for doing that task successfully simply do not perform as well as those who expect no reward at all.

This reminded me of what is written in Pirkei Avos.

[Antignos of Socho] used to say, do not be as servants who serve the Master to receive reward. Rather, be as servants who serve the Master not to receive reward.

Interesting.

Poorly Written Code: Part III

2005-03-30T20:12:00.000-05:00

This is another entry in my on-continuing saga of poorly written code. Yesterday, I was working on some code that looped over an Enumeration. An Enumeration, for those non-Java people is not the traditional enumeration (recently introduced in Java 5.0) but a list-like collection that was present in the early days of Java and is kept around for backwards compatibility. Here is how it looped over the Enumeration.


if (enumeration != null)
{
 while (enumeration.hasMoreElements())
 {
  if (enumeration != null)
  {
   while (enumeration.hasMoreElements())
   {
    // do something
   }
  }
 }
}

What I ended up doing is converting the Enumeration to an ArrayList (the "favoured" List class) and ended up with the following.


if (list != null)
{
 for (Iterator iter = list.iterator(); iter.hasNext(); )
 {
  //do something
 }
}

Unjust Deserter

2005-03-29T19:26:00.003-05:00

Recently, the Immigration and Refugee Board of Canada turned down the application of Jeremy Hinzman for refugee status. Jeremy Hinzman is an American soldier who went AWOL from his unit in Iraq and came here to Canada with his family. His claim was that if he were to be sent home, he would be court martialed and possibly be incarcerated. In the morning local paper that I read on the bus on the way to work, an immigration lawyer, Guidy Mamann, weighed in on the issue.

What remains unanswered is, from a Canadian public policy point of view, what a foreign soldier is expected to do when faced with having to fight a war he believes to be illegal and which offends his conscience.

Actually, nothing at all remains unanswered. The simple question which the Immigration Board had to answer was, is this person a refugee or not? As is clear as day to anyone with a minimum of common sense, the answer is no. As Mr. Mamman mentions, the Immigration Board took 69 pages to explain why. That being the case, if he is not a refugee, then, legally speaking, he must apply like any other immigrant. Mr. Mamman, being an immigration lawyer, knows this very well. So, what is a soldier expected to do in such a situation? That's not Canada's problem to solve! Besides, I find people like Jeremy Hinzman insulting. They are insulting to me as a Canadian since it makes a mockery of my country's laws by turning it into a political issue. The US is a free country with just laws and a decent justice system, their army included. If someone freely volunteers for the army they should expect that they may be sent to war. And if they do not like that war and go AWOL, then it is their responsibility to face those consequences and stop insulting our collective intelligence by claiming refugee status.

It is clear to me that our leaders do not want to anger our friends to the south who, after all, pick up a big part of the cost of defending our shared continent. Accordingly, they refuse to make and pronounce public policy that defines who we are as a people.

So, that is it, huh? If our political heads do not welcome this person (either by considering him a "refugee" or making up some other provision that will allow him to stay) then we are not defining ourselves as Canadian? Does that make sense? But this is all moot, and Mr. Mamman knows it. If Jeremy Hiznman is not a refugee (which he isn't) then he cannot take refuge here. Period. Political statements will serve no purpose other than to show how anti American those officials are.

Instead, they let a refugee hearing become the arena for public debate of a major social issue. In one corner is a bewildered 25-year-old young man and his counsel. On the other is the minister's counsel, armed with a preliminary ruling that Hinzman is not allowed to challenge the legality of the war. Deciding the issue for the rest of us is a relatively unknown and faceless bureaucrat.

They let it become an arena for a political (no, its not a social) issue? Um, what do you think Mr. Hinzman and his lawyer were doing? Just trying to claim refugee status? No, it was that plus a definite political statement to protest against the war in Iraq. The official website that supports Mr. Hinzman makes this quite clear. Also, his lawyer was not allowed to challenge the legality of the war for two very good reasons. For starters, it is irrelevant. What is relevant is if he is considered a refugee. If he faces persecution or bodily harm if he is sent home, then he should be considered a refugee. Since the US is a free democratic country where one can expect justice, the army included, then he should not be considered a refugee. Whether the war was legal or not is immaterial to that fact. The second reason is that the Immigration Board has no authority nor ability to judge what wars are considered legal or not. The US government is not on trial here.

Shas Differently

2005-03-21T18:26:00.000-05:00

With all the buzz around the recent completion of the Daf Yomi cycle, now comes the ultimate in Daf Yomi, the ShasPod. It is an iPod preloaded with every single Daf Yomi shiur in mp3 format. It was also recently lampooned on SNL's Weekend Update where it was jokingly referred to as an OyPod. (Further proof that SNL is not that funny anymore.) Or, alternatively, you can get a cheap mp3 player and download Daf Yomi shiurim for free.

Women Pay More than Men

2005-03-16T20:43:00.000-05:00

Lorenzo Berardinetti, an Ontario MPP, went shopping with his wife in the Eaton Centre and didn't like what he discovered. He found out that in some cases, women pay more for goods and service than men, especially for things like clothing and haircuts. Now he wants to introduce a bill in Parliament that would: "...make it illegal for businesses to set prices based on what gender their products and services are intended for". This is a bad idea, and in case Mr. Berardinetti wants to know why, I have three words for him: free market economy. I suggest he look it up. I would also suggest that he study some economics and learn about "market value". One wonders how this would even be enforced, assuming his bill ever passes. Will some mindless bureaucrats fix prices? Will they go after just the retailers, the wholesalers, or both? If a retailer bought some women's clothing at a higher price from a wholesaler than men's clothing does the retailer have to charge equal prices? If goods or a service is priced higher for women and there is justification for it, who has to prove it, the retailer or the government? How much would it cost to taxpayers? What total effect would this have on the economy? I'll also bet that in order to meet the requirement of "gender equal prices", businesses are more likely to raise men's prices to meet women's prices rather than lower women's prices to meet men's prices. Fortunately, I believe that enough MPPs will have the minimum of common and political sense to never let this bill pass.

Wrap Around

2005-03-10T16:32:00.000-05:00

Not only is laying of tefillin a Mitzvah, but some say it also makes for a good acupuncture technique. Via Biur Chametz.

Poorly Written Code: Part II

2005-03-08T22:04:00.000-05:00

I'd thought I'd continue on the theme of my last post and give a few more examples of poorly written code. The following is what I consider a textbook case on how not to program of which I had the misfortune of dealing with last year. In the application I was dealing with, there is a search utility that searchs for accounts based on various criteria (e.g. name, address, postal code, etc.). When the search would be invoked it would call a single method over 1200 lines long!This method was a virtual rabbit's warren of nested if...else code blocks. Within this mess, it would instantiate objects from one of two basic classes. One of these classes had 19 different constructors, the other one had 12. And yes, it used every one of those. It turns out that every time someone had added another search parameter, they added another set of constructors to those classes to accomodate the new parameter (since these classes were originally designed in such a way that the only way to pass in search parameters was through a constructor). By the time I finished rewriting the mess, I had reduced the 1200 line method down to about 150 lines of code and reduced the number of constructors in both classes down to 2. One of my co-workers told me a story last week that at a former job, he was writing code in C. In the code he was working on, he found someone had used a goto statement. This is what he found:


if (some argument)
{
// do something
goto a_label:
}
else
{
a_label:
// do something
}

Poorly Written Code

2005-02-27T22:07:00.000-05:00

Last Friday, at work, I was looking at some of the code in our codebase and found the following:


for ( ; ; )
{
// do something
if (some condition)
break;
// do something
}

Yes, someone wrote a for loop, without any arguments! What really bothers me is that this is something most first year CompSci students wouldn't do, or at the very least, taught not to do this. A few days before that I also came across this type of code:


if (A)
methodA();
else
if (B)
if (!C)
methodA();

Not as bad as the above code, but still very confusing. I rewrote it as the following:


if (A || (B && !C))
methodA();

Take The Car

2005-02-10T18:40:00.000-05:00

It was recently anounced that the TTC will be raising its fares, again. As can be expected, the usual collection of complaints have been brought forth. They say that every time the TTC hikes fares they lose riders, thus they end up losing the money that they hoped to gain through the increase. Which leads to less money to invest in upgrading services, which leads to losing even more riders, which leads to raising the fares to compensate, which begins the cycle all over again. Then they have to approach the government for more funding, which means, etc. etc. It is my belief that the real reason the TTC loses riders and/or the faith of the public is that their services have declined over the years, not how much their services cost. Compared to other cities, Toronto's public transportation is reasonably priced, even with the price increases. But my main concern is getting from point A to point B quickly as possible, painlessly. And it is not quick and it is not painless. If I had a car, I would never take the TTC. Also, over the past few years, the TTC has been slowly replacing their aging fleet of buses with new ones. Unfortunately, they are not as good as their older buses. They have been using what I called "mini buses" for the past few years, especially on the Bathurst St. route. These mini buses are much smaller than the regular sized buses so they fill up more quickly. In their infinite wisdom, they put some of these buses on busy routes during rush hour so many of their riders have to wait for the next bus where there will (hopefully) be more room. There are also many design flaws which I could gripe about but I'll leave that for another time. Other buses which they have recently installed are also not as big as their full sized buses but are bigger than the mini buses, so room is not at such a premium. However, one of the problems they all have in common is that they seem to be of inferior quality. I have seen rust form over the doors of one model. The mini buses air conditioning leaks inside during the summer. The back doors rattle when the bus is in motion. And, the seats seem to be spaced closer together compared to the older buses, which is not good for the over 6 feet crowd, of which I am a member. For that matter, I greatly prefer the old models from the 1980s, of which the TTC still has many in service (late 80s). They have big rear windows, are more roomy, and also look nicer as well. I find it strange that while cars in the 80s were boxy in appearance and became curvy in the 90s, buses followed the opposite trend. They were curvy in the 80s and became boxy in the 90s. Now that were are in 2005, you still have the feeling that you are in a big, black box. I remember from the early 1980s when I was a kid, their buses had big padded seats covered with a black cover (since replaced with a brown cover). They still have a few kicking around though it is quite rare. I have ridden on three of them in the past five years. It was very comfortable, much better than the red fuzz they cover the seats with now. (In their defense, the padded seats were suseptible to vandalism and are harder to clean.)

The Better Way?

2005-01-24T20:45:00.000-05:00

Riding the TTC bus on the way home from work today, I noticed an advertisement encouraging people to take public transporation. Specifically, it claimed that doing so would save you time, money, hassle, and the environment. Being a regular rider, I thought I'd examine whether that claim is true. Time- In most cases, this is not true. Taking the TTC will not save people time. It takes me anywhere from 50 - 75 minutes to get to work while that same trip would take 20 - 30 mintues by car. This is because I have to walk to/from the bus stops (at both ends), take two bus lines thus waiting for two buses to arrive at a bus stop (and quite often, they are late), and be subjected to stopping at every stop which one doesn't get in a car. The only time the TTC would be faster would be in cases where someone has fairly direct access to the subway line and was going downtown during rush hour. Money- For the most part this is true. Last year, the TTC published a free pamphlet that tried to explain exactly how much one would save each month over taking the car. However, how that pamphlet made its case was very off the mark. For example, at one point, it tried to factor in how much the average car insurance would cost per month. That makes no sense since if a person owned a car and took the bus instead they would still have to pay insurance. It only would make sense if one compared costs of actually driving the car, e.g. gas and maintenance. It also makes the assumption, as does every other point here, that a person owns a car in the first place. One cannot save money on the expense of something one does not own in the first place. Thus, in my case, where I don't own a car, I don't save any money at all. Of course, that would render every point moot. Hassle - I don't understand why anyone would think that taking more than twice the time to get to where one is going, waiting in the freezing cold for a bus that is late, shoehorned into a crowded bus with a bunch of noisy teens on there way to school is considered less hassle than your own private vehicle. Where you get to sit down. On a padded seat. And listen to your own radio station. And go when and where you want. Environment - I suppose that this is true. Giving up the use of many cars and instead using a single bus would translate into less polution, despite the fact that a single bus is a bigger pollutant and a single car. It also assumes on average how many people on the bus are there as a matter of neccessity (like me) or are there because they are taking it as an alternative to driving their car.

It's a Girl

2005-01-10T11:39:00.000-05:00

My wife gave birth to our fouth child, a baby girl on Sunday, January 9th at 9:12 p.m. EST. The baby weighed 8 pounds 5 onces.

No Stone Unturned

2005-01-06T13:53:00.000-05:00

At the movie premiere for the movie 'Alexander' in London, director Oliver Stone blamed the moral fundamentalism in the US as the reason why no one saw his movie. Stone blames 'moral fundamentalism' for US box office flop Really? So how does one explain the box office success of Fahrenheit 911 (presuming that what Stone would call "moral fundamentalists" are politically conservative)? How does one explain the box office success of many other movies that came out this year, all of them arguably with themes and content that was "less moral" than his own movie? How does one explain why his movie was widely panned by the critics, especially when very few critics are "moral fundamentalists"? Maybe, just maybe the reason it flopped was because it was a bad movie?

Uri and ZAKA

2004-12-25T18:40:00.000-05:00

Today in shul (synagogue), we had one of the heads of ZAKA, Yaacov Uri, give a speech about his organization. ZAKA is a volunteer organization that has the solemn duty of recovering all the bodies (and body parts) from a terrorist bombing in Israel and prepare them for a proper Jewish burial. They also act as an emergency task force, giving emergency care to those injured by a suicide bomb and saving their lives in some cases. Yaacov Uri, the owner of Uri's Pizza, hit upon the idea to use motorcycles (the "moped" variety) which he used to deliver pizzas, to carry the Zaka workers and their ambulatory utilities to the scene of the bombings and give immediate care. Since Jerusalem's traffic can be very busy (as anyone who has been on Jaffa Road on a Friday can attest to) the motorcycles manage to get through traffic in less time than the regular ambulance can. This makes a difference between life and death in cases where people are injured by a bomb. The Cleveland Jewish News has a more detailed article about this. Yaacov Uri also talked about his late father as well. His father, a WWI veteran from Vienna, came to Israel as a young man and joined the Hashomer Hatzair movement. He was one of the first members of one of their first kibbutzim. He eventually became religious, before such a thing was common because of the Ba'al Teshuva movement. He was also a fouth generation descendant of the famous Chasidic rebbe Rabbi Zvi Elimelech Spira (the Bnei Yissaschar). He worked as a bookkeeper for Shaarei Tzedek Hospital until he was 92 (after "officially retiring" at age 65) and passed away when he was 95. He had 11 children of which Yaacov was the youngest. Zaka in the USA Zaka Rescue and Recovery 5023-16th Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11204 www.zakausa.org (English) www.zaka.org.il (Hebrew) e-mail: zaka.usa@verizon.net

Man Bites Dog

2004-12-15T13:13:00.000-05:00

Literally. It seems the man felt the traditional "Wagging of the finger and yelling 'Bad Dog!'" wasn't working for him.

Have a Big Head

2004-12-07T13:39:00.000-05:00

Israeli military jargon starts to make inroads into software development, at least at Joel On Software.

Cafe of Champions

2004-12-03T13:19:00.000-05:00

A new cafe restaurant has opened on the campuses of Arizona State and the University of Pennsylvania. The name of the restaurant is Cereality, and it exclusively sells breakfast cereal. Not surprisingly, it was founded by two Jewish guys. That reminds me of one of Jackie Mason's jokes in one of his routines about food and Jews. He said that sushi was really invented by two Jewish guys who first asked the question: "How can we start a restaurant without a kitchen?" Well, here's the answer.

A Sad Day in Canmore

2004-11-16T19:08:00.000-05:00

John Morgan of Royal Canadian Air Farce fame, has passed away. Morgan, the man behind such characters as Jock McBile and Mike from Canmore, was also one of the show's writers.

Circus Time

2004-11-14T19:06:00.000-05:00

We took the kids today to the Ringling Bros. circus which was hosted in the Air Canada Centre. A good time was had by all, and the kids mostly behaved themselves. My wife has a more detailed account of our trip. I was really tempted to ask one of the performers, "So, how did your parents react when you told them you ran away to join the circus?" The announcer, one Jon Weiss, has a bio that says he did exactly that (ran away to join the circus). Last name of Weiss and from Long Island? A Jewish circus performer?

Poisoned by a Grassy Knoll

2004-11-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

In a previous post I wondered how long it would take them to pin Arafat's death (then illness) on Israel. Well, it didn't take them long at all. This has already been out for over a week, its now being repeated again. Senior Palestinian renews poisoning suspicion in Arafat death

He's Dead, Jim

2004-11-10T19:34:00.000-05:00

I think Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, got it nailed down when he asked, "So did you hear what's happening with Yasser "Weekend at Bernie's" Arafat?"

Annie, Go Get your Shotgun

2004-11-05T16:03:00.000-05:00

Arrange a shidduch, get $2000, get kosher certified. And do not pass Go, either.

No Beating Around the Bush

2004-11-03T13:45:00.000-05:00

Mazel Tov to President Bush on winning his second term. And congratulations to the American people on selecting a president, all within a mere 24 hours.

Going... Gone?

2004-10-28T13:40:00.000-04:00

He has a flu. No, wait, he has gallstones. No... He's dying. How long will it be until someone pins it on Israel? I seem to recall that when one of his advisors (forgot the name) a few years back died of a heart attack, they tried to blame Israel's secret service for causing it.

Security in the Synagogue

2004-10-16T21:28:00.000-04:00

While walking home from shul (synagogue) last night, I ran into a neighbour of mine. He told me that for the first time, he davened (prayed) elsewhere. Why? Well, our shul has had security guards guarding the place every Shabbos for a while now and also inspect everyone's bags before letting them in. My neighbour, on principle, refuses to let them search his talis bag. This time they refused to let him in. He was obviously quite upset saying it is an indignation that he, who has davened there for the past 18 years, should be refused entry into his own shul by some security guard. So, that brings me to the basic question and that is, does a shul in Toronto need security guards every Shabbos? What risk are they guarding against? A friend of mine commented on this a while ago and said that such security comes more from paranoia and not from valid security concerns. He also said that your basic security guard was someone who "couldn't cut it as a cop" and thus did not feel confident in their guarding abilities. (I'm sure that if a security guard is reading this he'll probably feel that that is an unfair generalization.) The standard reason given as to why the shul has security guards is that the increased tension in the Middle East and Israel and a general rise in anti semitism warrants it. But in Toronto, aside from a few incidents of anti semitic graffitti on houses, overturned tombstones, and broken windows in synagogues, everything has been relatively quiet. What would a security person be preventing exactly? At the very least, the security guards should not have to check bags.What are they expecting someone to bring in? A bomb? A gun? What are the chances of that happening? What are the chances of someone dressing up as an Orthodox Jew, carry a talis bag, and hide a bomb in it in the city of Toronto? Not very likely, I'd say. Update: Miriam of Bloghead weighs in on the issue of security in shul.

Birthday

2004-10-15T17:08:00.000-04:00

Today is my birthday and I have reached a milestone. I'm now 30. It is my understanding that I'm not to be trusted anymore, or so they used to say in the 60s, a decade which I wasn't around for.

Holidays Ended

2004-10-09T22:44:00.000-04:00

Well, our marathon of "three day Yom Tov" over a period of a month has now concluded. The high point of the holidays: Food, all that food. The low point: Sitting in the sukka on the second day and hearing someone blast music outside during our meal. To make matters worse, it was Abba.

No Regrets

2004-09-27T20:57:00.000-04:00

My father told me a story that has some relevance to Yom Kippur. A while ago, a TV show featured an interview with an ex-con. This ex-con was a well known bank robber who had been in an out of jail many times. (Apparently, he knew how to "work the system".) At the time of the interview, he was "turning over a new leaf" and had recently written a book about his experiences in and out of jail. During the entire interview, he lodged many a complaint about the system. It seems that being in jail was not exactly a pleasant experience. (Big surprise there.) My father noticed something interesting about the interview. During the entire interview, not once did he express regret for what he did. My father commented at the time that they should keep their eye on him. Sure enough, the ex-con who supposedly turned over a new leaf, was back robbing banks and found himself incarcerated again. One of the first steps towards teshuvah is to express regret over one's actions. A repeat offender who does not even do this basic step is almost guarenteed to continue in their old ways.

Quite Rightly

2004-09-26T18:18:00.000-04:00

I went this moring with my father to do my yearly purchase of a lulav and esrog. Is it just me, or is it that this year they are of a more pale yellow than usual? I also noticed that most of them had a lopsided pitom.

Two Yom Kippur Jokes

2004-09-26T18:05:00.000-04:00

Hope everyone had a great and rewarding Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. I have for you two Yom Kippur jokes, the first courtesy of Protocols. A big Red Sox fan comes running to his rabbi before Yom Kippur. "Rabbi, I have a dillema. The Sox are playing their big game on Yom Kippur. What do I do?" The rabbi replies, "Well, what do you think they invented VCRs for?" And the person replies, "Rabbi, that's a great idea! But... I didn't know Yom Kippur services were on cable?!" The second joke I heard from my rabbi a long time ago. One time an ignorant country bumpkin comes to shul on Yom Kippur and sees everyone bending over putting their tallis (prayer shawl) over their heads (standard part of the Yom Kippur service). He asks someone, "Why is everyone doing this?" The guy, being a big joker, says to the guy, "Well, when we bend over and cover ourselves with the talis, we like to grab a quick snack." The next year, the bumpkin was prepared and brought along a small bag containing a chicken drumstick. When the congragation bent over covering themselves with their talleisim, he did likewise, and started eating his chicken. Everyone had already come up from bending over and still noticed that one guy was still bowing down with his tallis over his head. The rabbi comes over to inquire, thinking the person is some sort of saint. The person looks up and rather impatiently replies, "Well, rabbi, some people are fast eaters and some people are slow eaters!"

Another Shot Heard Around The World

2004-09-21T19:59:00.000-04:00

Mihhail Kalashnikov, the inventor of the Kalashnikov machine gun, which Guiness World Records lists as the most widely used automatic weapon, not to mention the terrorists' weapon of choice, has now started his own line of vodka.

One Year Anniversary

2004-08-28T23:07:00.000-04:00

Exactly one year ago today I started this blog. Its been an interesting year, if I do say so. Thus, in that spirit, I will now give a look back over the past year. Personal

My oldest son celebrated his 3rd birthday, my daughter her 2nd, and our youngest son was born last November.
We are expecting our 4th, G-d willing, in 2005.
We moved from a 3 bedroom apartment to a 3 bedroom townhouse.

Canada

Chretien retires (finally!) Paul Martin gets to act Prime Minister
The Tories finally merge with the Alliance, they get Harper as their leader
Liberals are rocked with sponsorship scandal, Martin calls an election, and polls indicate that the Tories may win
Liberals win anyways
Provincial Liberals win in Ontario, proceed to raise taxes right away after promising not to (like anyone believed that)
Mel Lastman, mayor of Toronto, retires, David Miller gets elected. Who's better than Mel as a former Toronto mayor? Nooooo-body!
2004 Olympics are held in Athens, proving once more that when it comes to the Olympics, we still stink

The Rest of The World

Iraq. Staying the course. What more can I say?
US Democratic party picks JFK as their candidate. Unfortunately for them, its not John F. Kennedy, but John Kerry. Smart enough not to go with Dean, not smart enough to go with someone "normal".
US presidential campaign heats up, Kerry picks a lawyer as a running mate, allegedly to offset his "lack of charisma". And we all know how everyone loves lawyers. Will Kerry get elected? Time will tell as to whether historians will compare him to Mondale or Dukakis.
In Israel, Sharon the Likudnik becomes Sharon the Laborite and aggresively pushes his plan for "disengagement" which is a code word for making the Gaza strip Jew free.
Sharon has his Likud party vote on it, they say no, he goes ahead and pushes for it anyways. Israeli politics. Heh!
Hamas finds itself "spiritually lacking", courtesy of a Hellfire missile
PA prime minister quits, new one gets appointed, then he quits half a year later. Then he un-quits. Or maybe it never happened. Does it matter?

The Guests Have Arrived

2004-08-23T19:36:00.000-04:00

There have been several movies made in the past that have focused on the theme of Orthodox Jewry, especially Chasidim, or those that are labeled as "ultra Orthodox". Usually, these movies suffered from weak plots, many inaccuracies, or both. Others also add an element of portraying their subject in the worst possible light. In many cases, it is actually fun to point out the inaccuracies (much like it is fun for Trekkies to point out inconsistencies in the latest Trek installation). It would be nice, however, if there was a movie that treated its subject matter with some respect and accuracy. In Israel, a Breslover Chasid (a Ba'al Teshuva, returnee to Judaism) has made what may be the world's first charedi (fervently religious) produced and starring movie. It is called Ushpizin, the Aramaic for "guests" or "visitors". Whether it is good as the reviewer says it is, time will tell. No word on when the DVD (with the directors commentary and 8 hours of deleted scenes) is coming out.

Blackout Remembered

2004-08-14T23:48:00.000-04:00

It is now one year to the day that the biggest blackout in North American history, a total of 50 million people without power, occured (thank you very much, Ohio!). The Toronto Star today published an article looking back at that day. So, in the same spirit, I am linking to an article from the Canadian Jewish News on how the Jewish community here coped with the blackout. My experience with the blackout was not as memorable as having a candlelit wedding along with barebequed wedding food and a-capella singing. I do remember being stuck without a bus ticket and being as their were no stores open so I could purchase one, not to mention that the traffic was exceedingly slow, I decided to walk home instead. Aside from slight dehydration and a blister on my foot, I made it back in one piece. We all went over to my parents house and had a nice barbeque on the back porch, along with the neighbours. The weather was just perfect. Best part of all... my mom had a steak in the freezer.

There Are Other Keinz

2004-08-08T09:24:00.000-04:00

First, there was Freedom fries. And, now there is an alternative to Heinz ketchup. W Ketchup And its kosher, certified by the OU.

Tie a Red Ribbon

2004-08-01T13:53:00.000-04:00

The US department store, Target, is now carying red Kaballah strings for $25 a bundle. No word on whether Old Navy is planning on carrying tallisim.

This Land Was Made To Sue You and Me

2004-07-26T13:40:00.000-04:00

A very funny musical parody of the upcoming American election has been taking the Internet by storm. The parody is of the classical Guthrie song (This Land Is Your Land) with special Bush vs. Kerry lyrics. The flash animation is available from jibjab.com. Now, the owners of the original Guthrie song are upset and are threatening legal action due to copyright infringement. I remember from when I was a kid a Canadian children's musical group called the Travellers. They had made their own version of the Guthrie song, with Canadian specific lyrics. I wonder if they had paid royalties, otherwise they may find themselves in trouble too. Update:

I found some information on The Travellers. It has the following tidbit:

Their signature song is a Canadian adaptation of Woody Guthrie's 'This Land Is Your Land'.

One Moore Thing

2004-07-21T20:20:00.000-04:00

When Michael Moore appeared on TV here in June and told us not to vote for Harper, little did I know that technically speaking, he was violating Canadian law. A group has formed at the website ChargeMoore.com around the issue. Personally speaking, even though I was amazed at the guy's shear chutzpah, I would let this one go.

Searching for Bobby Fischer No More

2004-07-16T12:55:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I just couldn't resist the title. Bobby Fischer, the one time world chess champion from 1972 who then went into seclusion, has been arrested in Japan. In between emerging once every 20 years to play chess tournaments, he's been busy making anti-Semitic and anti-American statements to some radio station in the Philippines. For an explanation of the title, see this movie title.

Moore Free Advice For All

2004-07-13T19:09:00.000-04:00

It seems that Michael Moore, director of a documentary that has nothing to do with a Ray Bradbury novel, is not only freely offering his "advice" to Americans in how they should vote, but he is also offering unsolicited advice for many other countries as well. A few weeks before the federal elections here, while on tour promoting his documentary, Moore was here in Toronto offering his "advice" as well. I saw him on TV where he told anyone who was watching that they shouldn't vote for Harper (that would be the leader of the Conservative party) since he would "send your children to Iraq". Aside from the fact that the Conservative platform never included plans to send Canadian soldiers to Iraq, nor was it even implied by any politician, he seems to forget that Canada, like the states, has a volunteer army. Thus, anyone who is signed up to the army is doing so out of their own free will thus should be fully aware that they can be sent anywhere into war. Nobody would be "sending anyone's children" anywhere unless those children, who can make such decisions, choose to be a part of it. Moore also tried pedaling the same nonsense in his movie where he tries to ask senators whether they would enlist their children in the army. If the senators were smart they would have answered that they support any career choice that their children made, including the army. Perhaps there were a few who did so, but I highly doubt they would have made it to the big screen.

Mother to Many

2004-07-13T19:00:00.000-04:00

A frum, Jewish woman, with whom I have had an intimate relationship with over the years, has just started her own blog. Ok, ok, its my wife. Her blog is called A day in the life of a mother and will focus on motherhood and our children.

Make It So

2004-07-01T19:00:00.000-04:00

In Star Trek, humans and aliens are governed by a body of government known as the United Federation of Planets, or the Federation for short. Trekkies (of which I was a mild one until the numerous "alien of the week" plotless episodes finally took their toll) like to point out that the Federation is analogous to the United Nations, where planets parallel nations and everyone has a say. I would like to point out that the UN is nothing like the Federation, though it may be a good idea that it should. In the Trek universe, not every planet is allowed admission into the Federation. It must meet certain criteria. It must meet certain technological standards. It also must meet a standard of morality and be democratic. I remember an episode from the Next Generation where a planet's application to become a member was rejected due to how it shamefully treated former soldiers. Unfortunately, the UN is nothing like that. The UN includes everyone that is defined as a "nation", and even gives "observer" status to a non-nation. In doing so, it manages to include nations that are thoroughly undemocratic and have a poor human rights records. These nations then "gang up" and vote in blocks, hijacking the whole process. It would be nice that if, instead of the UN, there was a "UDN", a "United Democratic Nations" which would only include democratic nations and endevour to spread democracy amongst non democratic nations. One can only dream.

Out of the Depths

2004-06-22T20:15:00.000-04:00

Ancient Rabbi Becomes a Modern Israeli Matchmaker The above headline is a reference to Rabbi Yonasan Ben Uziel, at whose gravesite people pray in hope to find a shiduch, a match. What they didn't mention in the article is what I heard when I was Israel, some ten years ago. Sometimes some young women accidentally (wink, wink) leave their siddurs (prayerbooks) behind which just happen to have their name and phone number in them (nudge, nudge) where they are then found by some young man who is only happy to return it to its owner. Or, so the theory goes.

Mazel Tov, Graduate

2004-06-16T18:27:00.000-04:00

A neighbor of my parents has a relative who recently graduated with honours from the University of Toronto with a degree in psychology. That, in itself, is not that remarkable, except for that the relative is her father and he's 93 years old. I've met him a few times and he is quite spry for a 93 year old. I shook his hand and he has a pretty firm grip. To cliche: He doesn't look a day over 80. K'naine horah.

At Eighteen, To The Polls

2004-06-15T19:22:00.000-04:00

One of the candidates in my electoral district is an 18 year old who is running as an Independant. There was a profile of him in the local neighborhood newspaper on how he is juggling homework (he will graduate high school in time for the election) and campaigning. He freely admits that he probably will not win but likened it to the lottery where there is a slight chance of winning. Uh, no. In a lottery everyone has an equal chance of winning since the numbers are randomly chosen. In elections, people vote for who they think is the best candidate. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets more votes than the local NDP candidate, though.

Which Israeli PM Would You Pose With?

2004-06-13T10:41:00.000-04:00

In the electoral district of Thornhill, two of the candidates are Josh Cooper for the Conservatives and Susan Kadis for the Liberals. Susan has posted a picture of herself with Benjamin Netanyahu. Josh has posted a picture of himself with Ariel Sharon.